During the fall and winter I’m mostly a cerebral t.v. watcher– bring on Downton Abbey and The Daily Show. But once those warm temps hit, it’s as if a switch is flipped and I crave escaping into reality t.v. shows where I can chill my brain after warm days outside. Now there’s a new show in town– Pretty Wicked Moms, which chronicles the realities of a handful of physically beautiful women in the south, who also happen to be moms. As you’ll see in the trailer, they certainly earn their reputation for being ‘pretty wicked’ by the way the speak to and about each other . As they jockey for social position, you’ll see them attempt to one-up each other in just about every area of choice from first birthday parties to fashion to what they feed their babies (strict vegan diet, anyone?)
It’s a mommy war for the ages, the same ‘mom vs. mom’ discussions that have been around as long as women have had a voice. Especially with social media, you can’t really escape it. There’s the age old question “who has it harder– working or stay-at-home moms?”, but also spirals off into judgements regarding sleep training, breastfeeding, attachment parenting, schooling, and just about every facet of life a child may face. In all those areas, a mom will be judged. In fact, I bet I’m being judged right now. 😉
The ‘who-has-it-harder’ discussion is maddening, isn’t it? The truth is we all have it hard because parenting is hard. We all have guilt, even if we know the decisions we make are right for our family because there’s usually a tradeoff associated with it. Motherhood and parenting is a shifting, malleable entity and each of us is doing the best we can, how we can, when we can. We are ALL good moms, even by virtue of caring so much about what we feed our child, how we put them to bed, and how we provide for them. At the heart of it, isn’t judging other moms is about trying to lift yourself up? Which is why my guilty pleasure is reality shows like this– dissecting the motivation and what’s at the heart of the behavior we see.
Have I ever felt judged as a mom? Oh, yes. But thankfully I’ve surrounded myself with people who support me, who realize my daughter’s milestones are going to be different than their child’s milestones and using that to lift themselves up would be wicked indeed. My friends are truly beautiful by celebrating each of my daughter’s accomplishments, no matter how big or small, when they arrive or how. By the time my son came around, it became clear that I wasn’t doing to discuss what he’s doing and when. When a normally developing child takes his first steps doesn’t matter in the long run– they’ll all be walking by elementary school. That child who didn’t talk until he was three? Yeah, he just graduated from Harvard Law (true story, by the way).
The thing is, I know lots of pretty moms. Like, truly beautiful moms. They are the ones who use their beauty like a mirror– not just to put a pretty face forward, but to allow your beauty to shine right back. The ones that use words to lift and support, and hands to encourage and share. By judging, we divide ourselves. And why we would want to divide ourselves? You saw how that worked out for Voldemort. Not so good.
That being said, if you STILL need to judge other moms, then you’ll find lots of fodder in this new show. It’s much easier to judge someone on the other side of a television screen. I’d so much rather watch them judge each other than participate myself, which is why I’m so drawn to reality t.v.!
Tune in to watch parenting like you’ve never seen before with the first episode of Pretty Wicked Moms on Tuesday, June 4, at 10:00 pm ET/PT on Lifetime:
Moms judging other moms isn’t going to change, but how I react to it will. Snapping back or judging others isn’t going to make me feel better in the long run. Channeling my inner Stuart Smalley will: “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” My mothering is good enough, smart enough, and my kids still like me? WIN!
Have you ever felt judged as a mom? Are there areas you judge others? Do you sink into reality t.v. once summer hits, too?!
FTC DISCLOSURE REQUIREMENT: Making Lemonade aims to provide unbiased editorials. However, I wish to disclose that from time to time I may receive free products or other compensation from companies for blogger reviews. This is a sponsored review on behalf of Pretty Wicked Moms.