I remember the days when I could run an errand (or three) and have it take just a few minutes. I’d wear cute clothes without spit-up stains, run or hit the gym four times a week, and take longer than three minutes to eat lunch. My car was clean, I showered once a day, and had time to talk to my best friend on the phone.
Now… well, let’s just say the shirt I’m currently wearing probably has more than just spit-up on it.
I live near a fabulous {dare I say, famous} mall that I used to visit quite frequently. I hadn’t been since before Baby B was born, but needed to go because I had a return to make at this fabulous and famous mall. We were on the way home from a doctor’s appointment for B (a story for a whole ‘nother day) and he started screaming with hunger. I saw the mall, knew that it would be a good place to feed him AND get my errands done at the same time, so I stopped in for a minute.
So smart, right?
As I sat on a bench giving B a bottle, I realized I was in front of a store where I used to buy my “trendy” clothes back when I was three sizes smaller. I watched everyone walk by, dressed in the cutest shoes and hottest bags and perfectly tailored outfits. Teens, moms, grandmoms– they all looked fabulous. And there was my reflection in the glass of that trendy store, looking three sizes bigger and holding a screaming baby and wearing an outfit only because it fit and not because I liked it.
This should be the part where I bitch and moan about my life now that I have two kids. About all I’ve given up, about how much I miss my old life. But I actually didn’t get to that point, because as I looked at myself in that glass I saw something else reflected back:
Someone else walked by and pointed at my diaper bag, wondering where I got it.
It was then I truly saw myself, as a mom, doing the thing I always wanted to do. It just looked different than I thought.
And then B had a major, five minute long poop that ended up being a blow-through. As I frantically searched my bag juggling a bottle, B, and the burp cloth I had {thankfully} thrust under him to protect my pants I realized I didn’t have a change of clothes for him.
I did the only thing I could do– dress him in the too-small outfit I had come to return.
cue the music… wah, wah, wahhhhhhhh.
Score one for the little guy. 😉
Perfect look different to us at different times, I guess. Today? Today was perfect. Who needs clean pants, anyway?
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i’ve had this feelings, too. heck,i still do. the last time i had a haircut was more than a year ago and i couldnt remember last time i had a mani/pedi. we do step inside the mall, but to buy stuff for my toddler. what’s funny is, it’s okay when we go to the mall just to buy stuff for him. when i’m asked if i want anything, i say no, and it’s true. i cant think of anything i need…
Your post reminds me of my favorite quote – I just have to share it!
“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” -Joseph Campbell
I admire your perspective! : ) You never know how many of those nicely dressed people might have been wishing for your life, just as it was at that moment. And if I’ve learned anything, it’s that having the trendy purse does NOT make you any happier.
I have to admit, I was in a bit of a pity spiral myself until I read your post – thank you for putting me back on track! ; )
Hahahaha, he’s just too cute!
Cheri, I’m the same way. I almost exclusively look for things for the kids when I’m out. I’m giving you permission to go get a mani-pedi, though… an hour of pampering goes a LOOOOONNNGGG way!
Heather, love that quote. Thanks for sharing it. Words to live by for sure!
Jen, JUST WAIT, girlie! Can’t wait to read about your mommy misadventures soon. 😉
I remember those days well! Visiting from SITS Saturday Sharefest.
Stopping by from SITS. Loved this post. Thanks for the reminder that being a Mom is fabulous, too. 🙂
My childless life looks nothing like yours did…maybe a case of the grass always being greener? While I *do* want to be in your place (being a mother), I try to focus on the blessings of the life I have now…no knowing how long it’ll last.
Love love love this post and the pic of Baby B! I could SOOOOOOOO relate to this post! Even sometimes I wonder what life has come, I couldn’t be any happier and I couldn’t have any more love in my heart!
stopping by from 31DBBB. Love this post. I am just coming out of the baby fog. Am actually amazed that I could sit by the side of the pool this summer and talk to a friend. My children are 10, 8, and 4. It is kind of bittersweet, though, you almost miss those needy baby days when everything you did was wrapped up in meeting their basic needs.
Enjoyed your blog!